Last weekend we attended the wedding of 2 friends - a marvellous affair that was really personal to them. (The best type of wedding from my experience)
It highlighted something that has been bothering me for a while. I love spending time with my children, it is wonder time and worth every single second but sometimes I miss being free to spend the time with my friends and I tend to notice it after they are in bed. The wedding was over a weekend meaning 2 nights of fun to enjoy. The first was the more casual of the 2 and the venue was such that there were things for the children to enjoy - a trampoline, a swing plus the DJ has on music and a bubble machine. But they got tired, as children do. So bed time was called and off we went. The were asleep in moments, it was one of those evenings when I looked at their sleeping faces and was grateful that they were a part of my world.
But, as I sat on my own in hearing distance (a fair distance from the party) a little bit of me selfishly wished I could have gone and enjoyed myself. I would never have left them, I would never forgive myself if they woke distressed and alone or if something happened to them and I wasn't there. I was also really silly. My husband went off to enjoy the party and the longer he was gone the more wound up I got and so when he returned just over an hour later I was in a proper sulk. So when he did come back and offer to swap with me I was tired, cold and sulking and so told him to carry on and that I was going to bed.
The next evening was another evening, this time the actual reception and in the same location which the children were really excited by as they had enjoyed themselves the night before. We managed to persuade them into an afternoon sleep (to be honest, I even joined them) with a view to them being allowed to stay up late again. We went, more fun was had with the trampoline and the swing as well as the dancing and the bubbles plus the added fun of a sweetie buffet. They were brilliant, until the tiredness kicked in and once again bed time was called.
Once again they went as good as gold and I was really proud of them but I asked for a change. I asked my husband to sit with them.
I know it is selfish. I know he wants to have his social life as well but I was starting to bemoan the unfairness of him always getting to socialise and spend them time doing whatever he wanted whilst I minded our children. But I needed to let my hair down for 5 minutes. I wanted to be me and not just their mum.
The day had been one of shared time - we played with their stomp rocket, we played bowls, there was colouring in, stories and general running about and all in equal time with Grandparents and various other people joining in. It was lovely to see some friends who we have not seen for some time. It was even nicer when they commented on how much the children have grown in size and confidence as well as how our family had grown especially considering when many of them met the children only a little over a year ago.
In closing I would like to wish our friends the longest and happiest of marriages as well as much joy from their own amazing children.
