4 years ago today we said good bye.
Today that feels easier than it did last year.
Today my thoughts and prayers remain with those who had to say good bye too soon.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Experience
It is always nice to be asked to share your experiences with other people - even nicer when you are being asked by professionals so I was really honoured to be invited to a third adoption preparation course to share my experiences with a group of prospective adopters.
It was a nice audience (mostly), nicer than the last one (who were either terrified or shy and really didn't want to interact).
I always try to be as open and honest as possible, I know that for some it is harder when the social workers are listening in especially when you are negative about something but I would hope that everyone doing something as important as adopting will get lots of different opinions and experiences and then make their own minds up as they experience the process first hand.
It is weird the way conversations develop - the first group that I talked to were really focused on how the children coped with their adoption, their contact with siblings and attachment, the second were much more focused on the application process. This group were all over the place and wanted information on allsorts from the children's attachment to the application process through introductions and everything else.
It would be nice to be invited back, time will tell but I do hope that in sharing my experiences I can help others to prepare for the hard work ahead of them as well as the joy that it can bring.
It was a nice audience (mostly), nicer than the last one (who were either terrified or shy and really didn't want to interact).
I always try to be as open and honest as possible, I know that for some it is harder when the social workers are listening in especially when you are negative about something but I would hope that everyone doing something as important as adopting will get lots of different opinions and experiences and then make their own minds up as they experience the process first hand.
It is weird the way conversations develop - the first group that I talked to were really focused on how the children coped with their adoption, their contact with siblings and attachment, the second were much more focused on the application process. This group were all over the place and wanted information on allsorts from the children's attachment to the application process through introductions and everything else.
It would be nice to be invited back, time will tell but I do hope that in sharing my experiences I can help others to prepare for the hard work ahead of them as well as the joy that it can bring.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Fancy Dress
I do love a fancy dress party and I think everyone should be encouraged to dress up as much as possible. Last weekend it was to a Disney themed occasion and we were invited as a family to attend.
We have lots of fun getting the children to choose their outfits - oldest insisted on being Batman regardless of theme. Youngest wanted to be a princess but wanted trousers and usually the 2 are not all that compatible. In Aladdin they are! Jasmine wears trousers. That was much easier than I anticipated. The outfits arrived in plenty of time and we allowed a single trying on session before the actual party.
My husband and I were not so easy. We both like to think 'outside the box' and spent ages thinking about all the franchises Disney own including Marvel, Lucasfilm (Star Wars) and Pixar. I wanted classic Disney. I wanted to be a princess too. After many suggestions, mostly of Cruella De Vil I decided on Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It worked well with my re-enactment costume. Ideas my husband had were much wilder - Jedi (his dressing gown essentially), Mowgli (a loin cloth!?!) and the dragon from Pete' Dragon (he would be invisible so not actually there), the list goes on and on. He eventually decided on the easy option - a pirate using his re-enactment costume.
It was fabulous - everyone had made such an effort with the costumes including a purple faced Ursula, green toy soldiers (with feet fastened together), Mr Potato Head, a storm trooper, lots of princesses and pirates as well as scattering of witches plus a few Woody and Jessie outfits.
The nicest part of the party was the people. The party was for the children's last foster carer and full of people who had not seen the children since they moved on. The comments were amazing - plenty of people commenting on how they had grown but also on how confident and happy they were, how sociable they were and crediting it to our skill are parents. It was nice to have complete strangers say such wonderful things about the children, children they knew nearly 2 years ago. To their credit the children were amazing - fazed on occasion by people who knew them but whom they had no memory of which we expected. It made me exceptionally proud to be able to call myself their mummy.
We have lots of fun getting the children to choose their outfits - oldest insisted on being Batman regardless of theme. Youngest wanted to be a princess but wanted trousers and usually the 2 are not all that compatible. In Aladdin they are! Jasmine wears trousers. That was much easier than I anticipated. The outfits arrived in plenty of time and we allowed a single trying on session before the actual party.
My husband and I were not so easy. We both like to think 'outside the box' and spent ages thinking about all the franchises Disney own including Marvel, Lucasfilm (Star Wars) and Pixar. I wanted classic Disney. I wanted to be a princess too. After many suggestions, mostly of Cruella De Vil I decided on Esmeralda from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It worked well with my re-enactment costume. Ideas my husband had were much wilder - Jedi (his dressing gown essentially), Mowgli (a loin cloth!?!) and the dragon from Pete' Dragon (he would be invisible so not actually there), the list goes on and on. He eventually decided on the easy option - a pirate using his re-enactment costume.
It was fabulous - everyone had made such an effort with the costumes including a purple faced Ursula, green toy soldiers (with feet fastened together), Mr Potato Head, a storm trooper, lots of princesses and pirates as well as scattering of witches plus a few Woody and Jessie outfits.
The nicest part of the party was the people. The party was for the children's last foster carer and full of people who had not seen the children since they moved on. The comments were amazing - plenty of people commenting on how they had grown but also on how confident and happy they were, how sociable they were and crediting it to our skill are parents. It was nice to have complete strangers say such wonderful things about the children, children they knew nearly 2 years ago. To their credit the children were amazing - fazed on occasion by people who knew them but whom they had no memory of which we expected. It made me exceptionally proud to be able to call myself their mummy.
Sitting Near The Back
Last weekend we went to a lovely Baptism. We returned to a church we had visited before, first for the wedding and then the baptism of their first child and it was lovely to go back to such a lovely place and be as warmly welcomed as before. This was the second time the children have attended a Baptism that was not their own. We were a lot more prepared and took with us books plus CBBebbies on the pad and phone. For the most part it worked but I am glad that we were sitting near the back.
It is always lovely to attend these family occasions as a family. With our children.
It is always lovely to attend these family occasions as a family. With our children.
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