Yesterday we had some good news and some bad news. It has taken me a little time to get my head around this news. I tried writing this post yesterday but really struggled to find the words.
Sadly we found out that Andrew's Aunt had passed away over night. My thoughts and prayers are with her husband and children as well as the rest of her family and friends. She was so very young in my eyes, barely retired and seemed to be well at Easter when we saw her last. It is such a shame and I am sure she will be missed by many.
The better news was the birth of his niece's little girl.
It feels very strange to have such a happy event on the same day as such a sad one but it brought back into focus something that I have heard said but never directly to me - one in, one out. It seems so very wrong to say this, as if the baby couldn't have been born if some one hasn't passed away to 'make room'. I am not sure how I would feel if some one said that to me after the passing of someone very important to me.
I feel so very detached at the moment - almost without emotion. Maybe the last couple of weeks have taken there toll on me and this is how my brain has decided to protect itself. I would normally have been very cross about a couple of things but I have brushed them aside. On the news of the last few births I have needed a moment to grieve what I have lost and re-find acceptance of my circumstances and my jealousy but this time I am numb. My this is the next stage in my own healing process.
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