Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Strangers in the Night

Or on a train. Or anywhere.

How do you approach them?

This week I have been making an effort to sort the necessary contact bits for the children. Mainly putting into place another direct with their older brother but also starting a relationship with oldest's paternal half sister's adoptive parents. Wow, that is confusing to me and I know the relationship. So oldest's birth father has a little girl who was adopted earlier this year and we need to establish indirect contact with her parents.

How? I am struggling. The contact is via email. It doesn't need to be monitored by social services so we are have been passed an email address and told to get on with it. I have no idea if they are expecting my email or how they feel about indirect contact with us. In my mind I am not sure what oldest will gain. He has never met this little girl nor will he know her as his sister but he might want to in the future which suggests to me that a 'pen pal' type relationship built over years might be the way forward.

But it leaves me with a dilemma, how much information should I share? How much do I want to share and how much do I want to know about them? I have kept my email devoid of specifics to a certain extend as it seemed like the best way to write it. I have also kept it pretty short. We have not been given any advice as to how frequently we should email each other- the agreement we signed states ad hoc.

My last question of my first email to them was to ask them what they wanted from contact. It might be that they don't want contact at all, I don't know them or their little girl.

I will now await a response.

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