Sibling relationships

We have had a rough couple of weeks. Luckily they seem to be over and we have settled back into what is something resembling normality.

It all started towards the end of the half term break and no matter how hard I try i can not find the trigger but oldest became really unsettled for a while and it continued when he returned to school and, sadly, I ended up dealing with instances of spitting and punching at school. Both of which are out of character and so really frustrating. Luckily he is a lot more settled now he has been back in school another week and we have talked to him about his behaviour, as has school and we keep telling him that it is ok to be angry but he needs to find a better outlet - we are suggesting talking about it and asking for a cuddle so he can calm down and feel safe at the same time.

In the midst of this we have not helped ourselves as we had organised a contact session for his older sibling. It has been a year since they have seen each other and, whilst we were watchful, we were confident that it could be a positive experience. During the actual session the relationship between the children was a positive one. They played nicely, interacted well and all was good. There is still no relationship between youngest and her sibling and neither child seems to be interested in forging one which is hard to watch.

What we did learn from the foster carer did disturb us. Their sibling is back in regular contact with their birth mum. We had asked to be notified in the unlikely event that this happened as we would not have allowed the children to play out of ear shot especially as he had seen  her within 2 weeks of seeing us. We had no idea. I know that children talk but I wanted to be able to monitor if anything was said that might cause confusion or distress. We have also learned that birth mum is fighting to regain custody of their sibling and we have no idea what the impact of that might be - selfishly, on our children and their ability to have direct contact their older sibling.  

Luckily with everything else settling down and 6 months before the next session we don't have to make an decisions straight away but we need to take on board the advice of the
those around us.

All that being said we do have problems managed how jealous the children get of each other. I remember not being the kindest to my sister when I was a child but on occasion they can be really mean and it is not easy to know how to manage it except to make sure we give attention in equal measures.

In other news we have also, finally, applied for passports for the children and are planning a holiday to somewhere very sunny via an airplane for this year! I can't wait.