Should I, Shouldn't I?

This weekend I had a moment of should I, shouldn't I.

I stood in the queue to pay in a large department store in an unfamiliar city and, as I revelled in the fact that I had found what I had been looking for all day, I heard an angry voice. A little person, angry at his mummy. Really angry at his mummy. He was shouting, refusing to do anything and everything, calling her names, waving his hands about, trying to hit her and generally being really unpleasant. He even called her a 'poo poo head'. I have no idea why.

What I didn't hear was his mummy. She never raised her voice, never shouted at him and seemed, to the outside world, to be the epitome of calmness. I can only imagine how she was feeling based on how I feel when one of my children does this to me. My experience tells me that I am unconcerned if people stare but that it does make me uncomfortable. I have shouted at my kids when in public places and been embarrassed about it. I have also frog marched them out of shops when their behaviour pushed me over the limit of my tolerance.

I wanted to say something to her. I wanted to commend her for her calmness, for her ability to remain in control. I wanted to tell her that she was amazing, that there is no way I could remain as calm as her. I wanted to tell her that she was behaving in a way I aspire to.

I decided not to. I didn't want to embarrass her any more than she was already embarrassed and I didn't want to offend her.

I have no idea how I would feel if a stranger approached me like this. I had a good idea how I would feel about a stranger approaching me and being critical but someone being positive is very different. My initial thought was that a positive comment would be appreciated but it would have to be delivered in a way that implied no sarcasm or other negative. My other thought was that a comment meant that she had been seen. Noticed. More importantly so had her child's tantrum. I much prefer it when people pretend that my children and their tantrums are ignored. It speeds them to a faster conclusion. Her child might have been exactly the same. I also have no idea what history was behind that tantrum.

I walked away.

To that Mummy I would say, after the event and with all sincerity, well done. There is no way that I could have handled the situation that well.