What a difference a year makes.
One year ago today we had only just met our children for the first time. We were in the middle of introductions and they hadn't moved in yet.
They were so small, stood next to each other looking at the doorway as we walked in. The photos from last year are so different to ones we have from this week.
As it stands I have one sleep before I return to work and I am terrified. Terrified that we have made the right choices concerning childcare arrangements. Terrified that the children will think I have abandoned them. Terrified that I will be able to fit everything into a week - the whole 37 hours at work plus the commute, collecting and dropping off the children, making sure they have good meals, the food shopping, the cleaning, the washing, the ironing and, most importantly, having time to spend just playing with the children without being so tired that it is not fun.
I know that I have to live it before I will know. I also know that I am not on my own - my husband is, as ever, my rock and my family are doing all they can but at the end of the day I need to do what is best and plenty of happy, healthy children have both their parents who go to work full time. I should be grateful that my husband's shift patterns mean that he doesn't work any more than 3 days a week (most weeks) so he will be there for them.
Ask me in a couple of weeks if I manage it.
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