The Wicked Witch of here.

This week I feel like the Wicked Witch of the East. This has been my first week back at work and I will confess that I am enjoying the adult conversation, the stimulation and the sense of purpose and achievement. What I am not loving is the commute and what I really hate is leaving the children in childcare.

I know that I am lucky in that my husband is a shift worker so depending on his rotation we are only reliant upon childcare for either 2 or 3 days a week. But those days are really hard. This week it has been 3 days – on 2 of them I have dropped the children off at preschool early and then relied upon a childminder to collect them and feed them before I could collect them. On the 3^rd day, yesterday, I relied on the preschool for early morning and after school hours.  Oldest was fine, his friend was right behind him and he ran off happily to play. Youngest however was not fine. She was really clingy and whilst there were no tears she did not want to leave. Her plea for me to come and get her nearly broke my heart. It didn’t seem to matter how many times I tell her that I will always come and get her there is still an insecurity there especially when I have to collect her latter than is her expected normality. When I collected them both they were shattered, completely beyond tired and it didn't get any better.

This morning they were still tired, so much so that today has been a complete right off. Smallest is so tired that she is also a bit poorly which is heartbreaking as I feel like it is my fault. That if she had not been in child care so much this week she would have been ok.

I have to confess that I am also struggling with time. I feel like, in the mornings, I am rushing them to get ready, eat a decent breakfast and then get out of the house so I can get to work on time. In the evenings we have a little time for play, a good time for some fun in the bath, story time and then it is bed – I have 2 hours with them and it doesn’t feel like enough. We considered a later bedtime but the children have had long days and are shattered so they need the sleep.

 

As it is the last day weekend tomorrow I fully intend to spend the time with them, I can’t make up for the time I miss during the week but I can make the time that I have the best it possibly can be. I just hope that a good night's sleep is had and they are feeling better in the morning.