This week I am learning a new lesson in patience. We were hopeful that the report from our initial assessment would have arrived before the social worker we met went on holiday last week but unfortunately she didn't have chance and so we are back to hoping it will arrive this week - preferably before we go away for 5 days on Friday (today being Wednesday).
I have found this wait to be a strange one. The first few weeks were very much 'what will be will be' as we are good people and there is no reason for us not to be invited to take the next steps but the longer I wait the more I wonder if there was something the social worker saw that she didn't like or didn't think was right - I am pretty sure I am being paranoid but it is still a worry.
The time has been used profitably. I have been able to, in this time, spend time talking to ladies who have been in this place. They have all offered me positive and informative accounts of their experiences but above all they have been honest. Honest about the difficulties they came accross and the hurdles they had to over come and that has been very refreshing. No longer is anyone hiding the 'real and full' story from me as occured so often during my infertility investigations. No longer is there any false positivity but instead sensible reaslim.
The other use of time has been that we have been able to concentrate on us for a little while - on our relationship, what we want to do and the things that make us good as both individuals and together. It has also allowed us to take some time out from life in general which has done us the world of good.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Another Step forwards
On Friday we had our initial assesment appointment and we were lucky to meet a lovely social worker who we spend over 2 hours talking to. We covered so many topics including our lives, backgrounds, families, friends, hobbies, finances, the cats and our home - she even took a full tour and looked over every room. It did feel very strange to talk in that much detail about so many personal things but it was also nice to reflect on just how lucky we are.
Alright we can't have biologcal children of our own but when we looked we have wonderful families and friends who are always there for us plus we have a lovely home, stable jobs and, most importantly, we have each other. There are so many people in this world that don't have these things that I feel it is worth taking a moment to remember what I do have and to be thankful for it.
Back to tha appointment - the only thing that the social worker could see as a concern was my weight. OK, my BMI is higer than it 'should' be according to those who profess that BMI is the be all and end of of weight and being over weight but never minding that I do have some to shift and so that is my new plan whilst we are waiting for the report and then, hopefully, to move forwards.
So, the next steps are to wait for the report to come back from the social worker along with a letter detailing what next. Our hope is that this letter will also be an invitation to the 'Preparing to Adopt' course which we need to do and hopefully it will be the next one which they think will be in about 6 months time.
Fingers crossed.
Alright we can't have biologcal children of our own but when we looked we have wonderful families and friends who are always there for us plus we have a lovely home, stable jobs and, most importantly, we have each other. There are so many people in this world that don't have these things that I feel it is worth taking a moment to remember what I do have and to be thankful for it.
Back to tha appointment - the only thing that the social worker could see as a concern was my weight. OK, my BMI is higer than it 'should' be according to those who profess that BMI is the be all and end of of weight and being over weight but never minding that I do have some to shift and so that is my new plan whilst we are waiting for the report and then, hopefully, to move forwards.
So, the next steps are to wait for the report to come back from the social worker along with a letter detailing what next. Our hope is that this letter will also be an invitation to the 'Preparing to Adopt' course which we need to do and hopefully it will be the next one which they think will be in about 6 months time.
Fingers crossed.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Discharge
It has been a while since I have posted to here and this is because I have been waiting for one final thing - my discharge from all fertility treatment. I managed to get this last week and the feeling of relief was immense. I could have skipped out of the clinic, out of the hospital and away from the last 3 years of my life. I did feel a bit sorry for my consultant, it was almost like he didn't want me to go but he was out of options that I was prepared to consider and that means there was no other path for him to follow. It was a comfort to me that I had accepted the necessity and could smile about it.
We managed to celebrate that evening - a home cooked meal and a glass of wine might not seem like the best celebration but it was like turning back time to before. I know that nothing will erase the memory of the journey we have undertaken but my hope is that, given time, it can become fuzzy and the pain of it all will lessen. I am also hopeful that the 'old me' will be back to stay - the me that can enjoy life and see the positives. The me that wants to get out of bed in the morning and wants to see what excitment the day brings.
So, our next step is us waiting to receive an initial appointment with the Local Authority Adoption Service Social Worker - we are waiting for a call back as I type and I can't wait to get the ball rolling and moving onwards towards the future.
We managed to celebrate that evening - a home cooked meal and a glass of wine might not seem like the best celebration but it was like turning back time to before. I know that nothing will erase the memory of the journey we have undertaken but my hope is that, given time, it can become fuzzy and the pain of it all will lessen. I am also hopeful that the 'old me' will be back to stay - the me that can enjoy life and see the positives. The me that wants to get out of bed in the morning and wants to see what excitment the day brings.
So, our next step is us waiting to receive an initial appointment with the Local Authority Adoption Service Social Worker - we are waiting for a call back as I type and I can't wait to get the ball rolling and moving onwards towards the future.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Step 1 - Information Evening
So, last week we decided to go to the information evening. We knew that we would have time to wait before we could process any application but we wanted to get the information to give us plenty of time to digest it and to really understand the process and what it entails.
It was a very interesting evening and the meeting was much larger than I expected it to be. The adoption team were very clear about what the process would be, what steps would be required and we both found it incredibly interesting. We were able to come away have talked to a social worker with things to think about as well as a time scale as to when we could start the process properly. The very short answer to that question was after June and my last hospital appointment with the fertility clinic.
I was surprised by how many choices this process opens up for example:
How many children would you choose to adopt?
At what ages?
What gender?
Would we adopt children with learning difficulties or some form of disability?
I have thought we would have to choose these things only thought the the social workers would make matches based on what ever criteria they work with.
What we did conclude after much discussion is that this is an exciting time for us and we am really looking forward to moving along this road.
It was a very interesting evening and the meeting was much larger than I expected it to be. The adoption team were very clear about what the process would be, what steps would be required and we both found it incredibly interesting. We were able to come away have talked to a social worker with things to think about as well as a time scale as to when we could start the process properly. The very short answer to that question was after June and my last hospital appointment with the fertility clinic.
I was surprised by how many choices this process opens up for example:
How many children would you choose to adopt?
At what ages?
What gender?
Would we adopt children with learning difficulties or some form of disability?
I have thought we would have to choose these things only thought the the social workers would make matches based on what ever criteria they work with.
What we did conclude after much discussion is that this is an exciting time for us and we am really looking forward to moving along this road.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A New Road
Today I made the choice to start a new road, to tread new paths and to fulfil our dreams of a family but taking us by taking a different road. Making to choice to adopt was one that we made with ease, we could give so much to a child why does it have to be one we have conceived and given birth to? The short answer for us what that it didn't. I fully expect this to be a long road and one fraught with ups and downs but one that I hope will have a happy outcome. Today I have requested the information pack, got details of the information evening and am feeling very positive about furthering investigations. I know we have to wait until we are permitted to make a formal application but I want to be ready for that deadline, I was to have everything prepared.
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