Coming Home

They are home. They are fast asleep in their beds. I am shattered.

If feels like a lifetime ago that I wrote my last post but it was only 5 days ago. They have only slept in their beds here 6 times and that includes tonight. We have had some highs and some lows. The lows are the challenging behaviour which we were expecting. At the moment that is focused around meal times and bed times but we are sticking to our boundaries and being firm and things are getting better, one day at a time.

The highs are something else altogether. Our little boy demanded a good night kiss when we put him to bed and apparently a kiss before he gets into bed is not enough, it has to be a kiss once he is in bed (silly me) was beyond amazing. Our little girl laughing and smiling when she is playing with her toys and watching both of them eating their meals with food all over the place just warm my heart. We have fed the ducks, we have played in the snow and made a snowman, taken the children out on their trikes, we have had fun in the bath, changed some seriously nasty nappies, got food everywhere and done more washing than I have ever done before.

I can't remember when I last prepared so much food or did so much washing up, the house is covered in toys, I can't get into the bath with first emptying it and there are packets of baby wipes scattered about the house. And do you know what? I don't mind. Overnight I have gone from neat and tidy clean freak to it'll be ok and I can sort it later.

Our next challenge is to start the slow and careful process of introducing them to our family and friends, at their speed. I can't wait.

These highs make every second of the last (nearly) 5 years worth while - every second spent in tears, every moment spent at appointments for doctors, counsellors, consultants and scans, every social worker visit, every course, every piece of paperwork, all the worry, the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums and each time I nearly gave up - all worth it.