We have spent so much time preparing ourselves to be parents but we have also had to focus a lot of energy into the physical – our home and car. They have to be suitable, safe and child friendly but more importantly they have to pass the health and safety assessments laid down by social services.
We started a while ago – when we were approved as adoptive parents months ago (well September feels like years ago but it was only months) when we decorated our spare bedrooms in neutral yellow and made sure the curtains and carpets were cleaned. After that we seemed to have snowballed as the nearer we got the more we did. Because it was done slowly we didn’t realise how much we had done:
- stair gates top and bottom of our stairs
- corner cushions on furniture
- cupboard catches on everything in the kitchen
- exchange the coffee table for a rug and more space for playing
- rearrange the bathroom to make sure things are out of reach and sort a step so they can reach as well as a loo seat so they don't fall in
- rugs and pictures for the bedrooms (once we knew the sex of the children)
- sort beds and new mattresses and pillows and duvets
- organise space in the lounge and bathroom for toys
- fire guard
- pre-wash new towels
- fit car seats to the car (after it has been cleaned)
- make sure I am as up to date with the washing and ironing as possible
- clean the house from top to bottom and make sure nothing harmful is within reach
- stick glow-in-the-dark stars and planets to the ceiling in our little boy’s bedroom
- stock up on essentail supplies like baby wipes, calpol and plasters
- get all the necessary none breakable crockery and child sized cutlery
- stock up on essentail supplies like baby wipes, calpol and plasters
- get all the necessary none breakable crockery and child sized cutlery
I am sure there are other things but these are the ones that come to mind.
So, you ask the question: are we ready? The answer? God only knows. I haven’t got a clue.
So, you ask the question: are we ready? The answer? God only knows. I haven’t got a clue.
Hell no! No-one is ready, but you'll cope, that's what people do. I really don't think anything can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster of being introduced to your children, trying to get to grips with having children who are already such incredibly complicated little people, not to mention the incredible stress of trying to make the first steps to becoming a family while basically living in a stranger's home. Swinging from high to low and wondering what on earth you're going to do once this is your whole life! All you can be is as ready as you can be, give them all your love without overwhelming them, and try and enjoy getting to know them, but with realistic expectations of how much they can give back to you and how soon. It sounds like you've got a lot of travelling and some very early mornings as well. I hope you can manage to get some sleep before hand. I barely slept a wink for about a week before we met Munchkin, and not a huge amount more during the introductions. There's just so much buzzing round your head at the end of each day, the highs, when you realise yes, this little person really is mine to take care of and love forever, finding the little things about them that make you click, and the lows of realising that to them you are a stranger, and it will take a long time for them to feel secure and safe with you.
ReplyDeleteI would also suggest stocking up on anything that can make a meal quickly and won't go off! In the first 4 months Munchkin was here, I didn't make a single meal that took longer than 5 minutes while she was awake, and even that was a real struggle a lot of the time, everything was cooked or prepared after she went to sleep and then quickly heated or thrown on a plate the next day.
Good luck, I hope everything goes as smoothly as it can!
Ilyssa