Now the children have been home for over a month I am started to feel a little less frazzled and a little more in control of what is going on. I am no longer worried about when I will get things done as I am getting used to doing things in the moments that the children are occupied.
The half term holiday has been challenging, more because I have been on my own for most of it because of my husband's shift patterns and also because I am still finding my feet as to what I can manage to do with them both at once and what is still a bit 'too much'. I have to say that having visitors is a double edged sword - it is so nice to have the company for the support and the conversation but it can mean a decline in behaviour as certainly the oldest takes the advantage to show off and see how far he can get because there is some one new in the house.
Today has been an interesting one - on my own for the majority and not only did I have no major tantrums or problems I also managed to get some things done as well. I managed to make cleaning a game so not only did I get the bedrooms cleaned but apparently it was great fun as well. We also managed to kick the football about in the garden for a little while and have a toy sort and swap (upstairs to downstairs). That one top of meals times, play time and bath time and we have had one full day, fingers crossed that tomorrow is as good if not better.
The last few days I have tried a few new things including painting and play dough (thanks to my sister for making it for me) so we have options of activities and although there are a few things I am not brave enough to do with both on my own I am much more comfortable when they are sat to the table strapped into their booster seats.
The thing that I have realisedover the last few days is that the TV is my friend! They can sit and watch things from Disney films to CBBebies (some of which is even educational) and I am not a bad Mum for doing it, I am not ignoring them or doing them any harm and it gives me a moment to breathe, prepare the next meal, snack or drink, organise the next activity or just go to the loo (on my own).
Munchkin was used to TV, plus music, plus god knows what other screaming shouting and far too many activities at once going on in the foster carer's home, all at once.
ReplyDeleteI cut it back a lot from what she was used to, but did feel bad about putting it on as much as I did. Munchkin couldn't really deal with me out the room at all for about 6 months though, it's only been the last couple of months where I go to the toilet on my own (9 months in nearly) and can go in the kitchen for a while to prepare meals without major problems.
I do now have a very set TV routine though (in fact we have a very set daily and weekly routine and really need it) in that she get an hour or so in the morning while we get ready, about 15 mins while I prepare lunch, and then we watch a "something special" together, with a bit of to-ing and fro-ing while I get her dinner ready, just before dinner time. It works, and I no longer get constant demands for TV on! I don't mind having it on so much when she's watching it - especially as now she will sit down and play along to what's going on in a completely adorable way. I just hated the constant demands for it to be on in the background all the time.
Yesterday morning she actually came up to the kitchen door and asked me to turn it off, because apparently she doesn't like Mike the Knight. After I'd picked myself up off the floor I did, and she got some blocks out and came and sat by the kitchen door and made stuff for me to look at for 10 minutes.
Sounds like things are pretty much on track though. I really can't stress enough how much happier Munchkin was once we'd got a good routine sorted out though. I don't just mean what times we eat and snack and bath etc, but things like what times we read, or do drawing, or which days we go to the park and which we go to play group, and which we feed the ducks. I can be a bit more flexible now, but for a good few months it was the thing that kept us ticking. It sounds like you've had a much much smoother transition than we did (we had a lot of problems with the foster carer) and are much nearer to normal family life than we were for a long time!
Play dough is great. Cornflour is just awesome (although your older one might be a bit too old) and you can add glitter and stuff, which seems to keep little ones amused for ages. Dry rice with normal sandpit or water toys is fantastic too, really tactile. Mixing paint with washing up liquid and using sponges with it was another big (but very very messy) favourite. I loved using anything tactile that Munchkin would go for because for a long time it was the only really decent physical contact we could get so we went through lots and lots of stuff to find things that worked - it was a lot easier in summer/autumn though, when we could do it in the garden!
People in the house was dreadful for a long time, and we didn't do much of it.
Hope things continue to go well.