I feel like I am neglecting my blog a little bit at the moment and I am sure I will be forgiven but this evening I was thinking about who I am writing for. The answer was always me. It was my way of recording my thoughts, feelings and the events in my life so I can look back on them and remember as well as sharing them with the people I care about.
Something that have been playing on my mind recently is how I find 'me time'. It is something the social workers insist me finding time for this and I have to rely on Andrew to take over so I can manage it but this week he has been an absolute star. Yesterday I got the whole day to myself to go shopping with some friends and today I had the morning to have a haircut and go to the opticians. They might sound like mundane things but they are not things that I want try and do with 2 toddlers. It has helped so much as it has reminded me that I am me and not just their mummy. Don't get me wrong, being their mummy is the best thing in the world but I am still me.
What really surprises me is how much I miss them when I spend the time away from them and how much time I spend wondering about what they are doing and if they miss me at all. Walking back into the house to see their smiles and hear them calling me brings me so much joy that I never expected. I try not to spend all my time talking about them and yesterday I banned myself from looking at anything child related which was the right thing to do.
Something that we have to look forward to is a complete change of scenery. We are going on holiday. Only for a week and only to Cornwall but it is still a holiday and I am still really looking forward to spending a week just enjoying spending time doing what ever we want - no housework, no jobs and no worries. Andrew can show me some of the places he spent his childhood holidays and we can start making some memories of our own.
The only thing I have to do before we go is to get the paperwork requesting a court date for the adoption order in the post.
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