Give a Hug.

World Prematurity Day
17 November 

Bliss

An online friend asked for volunteers to support this campaign, something she has worked so hard for since her son was born early. The campaign is 'Give a hug'. Something that it seems that the parents of premature babies don't get to do that much during the early days and sometimes for such a long time. It feels very sad to have a child and not be able to hold them. The idea of the campaign is to raise awareness and that was good enough for me to volunteer.

My own journey to having children has been, as documented, different from many and so I do feel in some ways that I have missed out on some of the hugs that I would have liked. But, having the children home now means that every time they want a hug, they ask for a cuddle or even just to hold my hand I do my best to drop everything and enjoy those precious seconds where they want the physical contact and the affection.

Something that not many people know is that both my children were born early. They were not born to me, I wasn't there and I have only limited information about their births and very early days. I don't know if they were hugged and the chances are I never will. I can't change that, I can't make it up to them but I can fill their future with hugs.

Another story I would share is one from foster carers that I met recently. They were aware of a child due to be born who would be going straight into their care and that baby girl was born with many health problems and those foster carers became aware that she was in SCBU all alone with no visitors. They took it upon themselves to visit, to spend time talking to her and, when they were allowed, holding her to help her to form attachments. They since went on to not only foster that little girl but also adopt her so it feels nice that they were able to be there for her and that those early hugs have lead to something wonderful for them all.

Many looked after children are often very careful about hugs. It is not unusual for children to wait a long time to build a trusting relationship before they will ask for hug and for some it is hard for them to even accept one and our children were not an exception. Youngest small was very accepting of us when we first met, she gladly offered a hug goodbye the first time we met. It took oldest a lot longer and the upheaval of their actual move to us meant that we started afresh. Youngest is a child who loves to be held, she is always cuddling her soft toys and asking to be cuddled or to be sat on your knee and they are moments that I love, moments that I treasure. Oldest is different. He rarely asks for a hug, he doesn't mind an arm around him when he is tired but hugs are not the same. He will happily give you a hug if you ask him but he rarely asks. A few days ago he marched up me, wearing a sheep mask, plonked himself on my knee and just said 'cuddle me mummy'. My heart melted and I held him tight for as long as he wanted. It was a moment that will remain with me forever, I loved every single second.

To end this post I will set a challenge to those that have taken the time to read this - go and hug the people that are dear to you, not just the children in your life but everyone who is special to you.