Two Children, One Mummy

After reading this post on a blog I like to keep up with: Ruby + Lottie I made the choice to write this post as is resounded with me.

On a practical level taking on 2 children at once has been difficult. I have to tailor activities to suit the difference in ages and preferences plus I have to make sure that my time is shared as equally as possible between the children especially as they both have issues surrounding jealousy if they think the other is getting more attention. Going out is harder with 2 than with 1 and I have only 2 hands when I am trying to do anything! The silly thing that never occurred to me was that they walk at different speeds which means I feel like I am forever asking one to slow down and the other to keep up!

I feel like I have talked a lot about attachment previously and most of that has been focused around the children's attachment to us however this evening I am thinking more about how I attached to the children. When we first met the children they were strangers to us - it didn't matter that we knew about their histories and had been given so much information about them, they were still strangers to us and we had to take time to get to know them. It is hard to say that I attached to one faster than the other, I love them both dearly but there were times when I struggled to 'like' one but it feels like it was linked to how hard I found it to deal with the behaviours that they presented.

The reaction most people have to me when they realise that we took on 2 children at once is 'you're brave'. Were we brave? Probably. But we knew it would hard work, it has been harder than we expected but then it has been more rewarded as we see the progress both children have made since they came to us so at the end of the day I do believe that we made the right choice and I would make the same decision again.

I never expected to fall in love with them straight away, I knew it would take time but it was quicker than I anticipated but I never expected that I never expected that I would react to the children differently which is daft really as they are very different characters. What matters is that there is room in my heart for them both, there always was and there always will be.