I know you shouldn't laugh but in this instance I couldn't help myself. Excusing myself from all ears I had to laugh. Why? Because my oldest child allowed his younger sister to cut his hair. Just one long stripe of hair from the from of his head with a beard trimmer. Down to mm. When Nanny wasn't looking. He actually sat still whilst she, aged 3 and a half, took a trimmer to his head.
The evidence was under his desk, no attempt had been made to hide it but what I can't work out is how they managed to get the beard trimmer down from the top shelf in the bathroom. I thought it was completely out of reach. Obviously I was wrong. Very, very wrong. The step has been removed from the bathroom as they can both reach the toilet and the sink without it.
I did ask why he stopped a the single stripe - he keeps insisting he wants his hair cut like his daddy's. He wouldn't tell me.
My choices were - leave it to grow out (and leaving him looking ever so slightly silly whilst it does) or shave it all off?
I desperately don't want to shave his hair off, he has lovely hair and he is so handsome with it plus with school photos next week I worry what he will look like. But, on the other hand, he does look silly and that isn't really very nice for him. A shaved head is going to be colder that his head of hair and it could look messy as it grows out.
Tonight I bit the bullet and did it - number 2 all over. I don't like it but it looks neater.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Temper
I wanted to dedicate today's post to my oldest. He is not a sulky child, he does not hold grudges but he does have an amazing temper and, when the mood takes, him the capacity to have a serious tantrum.
It was a Saturday morning, he was tired from a long week at school and excited because Grandma was visiting. Haircut time. So we trouped into town and he went second. He was as good as gold and earned his lolly. Walking to the supermarket after I had to ask him repeatedly to walk nicely, it is a busy road and I wanted him to be safe. I warned him that the consequence of not walking nicely would be the loss of his lolly. He lost his lolly. He lost his temper. He screamed, cried and wouldn't hold hands. I gave him a choice - me or Grandma and he chose Grandma.
It is never fun walking anywhere with a screaming child but I refuse to give in to him. So we did what we needed to in the supermarket and walked to the post office - screaming all the way. At the post office Grandma stood outside whilst youngest and I went inside to post the letter. As I was leaving I saw him wrench his hand away and run, at full speed, Grandma chasing him. What happened next will live in my memory forever. An old lady tried to block the path to stop him so he darted in between 2 parked cars and into the road. I thanked God that there were no cars.
Grandma caught him, gave him the telling off of his life and then handed him over to me. I frog marched him back to the car so fast he was jogging to keep up. I sat him in the car and I stood away from the car, where he could see me but with back to him to calm down. Grandma was devastated. She thought he was going to get run over and that it was her fault. All I could do was comfort her. Luckily he was safe.
Not 72 hours after this outburst we attended a meeting with his teacher to discuss how he is settling in and we were amazed at how well he has coped with the transition to school. The teacher was honest, he is an active boy with firm opinions and he can be naughty. But on the whole they were really pleased with him and commented on how helpful and pleasant he can be. They accepted the standing on the loo seats and hiding when he didn't want to join in as normal behaviour. They had no concerns about his behaviour, his development or anything.
I was relived. As well as very proud. Now to tackle the temper.
It was a Saturday morning, he was tired from a long week at school and excited because Grandma was visiting. Haircut time. So we trouped into town and he went second. He was as good as gold and earned his lolly. Walking to the supermarket after I had to ask him repeatedly to walk nicely, it is a busy road and I wanted him to be safe. I warned him that the consequence of not walking nicely would be the loss of his lolly. He lost his lolly. He lost his temper. He screamed, cried and wouldn't hold hands. I gave him a choice - me or Grandma and he chose Grandma.
It is never fun walking anywhere with a screaming child but I refuse to give in to him. So we did what we needed to in the supermarket and walked to the post office - screaming all the way. At the post office Grandma stood outside whilst youngest and I went inside to post the letter. As I was leaving I saw him wrench his hand away and run, at full speed, Grandma chasing him. What happened next will live in my memory forever. An old lady tried to block the path to stop him so he darted in between 2 parked cars and into the road. I thanked God that there were no cars.
Grandma caught him, gave him the telling off of his life and then handed him over to me. I frog marched him back to the car so fast he was jogging to keep up. I sat him in the car and I stood away from the car, where he could see me but with back to him to calm down. Grandma was devastated. She thought he was going to get run over and that it was her fault. All I could do was comfort her. Luckily he was safe.
Not 72 hours after this outburst we attended a meeting with his teacher to discuss how he is settling in and we were amazed at how well he has coped with the transition to school. The teacher was honest, he is an active boy with firm opinions and he can be naughty. But on the whole they were really pleased with him and commented on how helpful and pleasant he can be. They accepted the standing on the loo seats and hiding when he didn't want to join in as normal behaviour. They had no concerns about his behaviour, his development or anything.
I was relived. As well as very proud. Now to tackle the temper.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Keeping Up.
I decided a long time ago that I was not happy in my own skin. I feel 'big'. There is no other way to put it, just 'big'. I also don't want to be the fat mum that can' do everything with her kids. I haven't struggled yet but they are getting faster and faster every day and I can see a day when I do struggle. And I don't want to.
So, earlier this week I decided to take the plunge, be really firm with myself and start a new diet. A serious diet. One of meal replacements rather than me weighing and measuring and removing an element of choice. I can still choice amongst the meals packs that I have - various soups, bars and actual meals from pancakes to carbonara to spag bol. Most are reasonably tasty (with a little salt, pepper or similar seasoning) and portions are not bad either. I have avoided the shakes, I have a mild lactose intolerance and I decided not to risk it.
I have completed day 6 today and I am starting to feel better. My headache has gone, I am not struggling for energy and so far I have not been completely distracted by hunger. What I have not done is weighed myself. The weekly weigh in is a feature in my worst nightmare and I have decided to be kinder to myself and go on my clothes. I would like to drop at least 2 dresses. A 3rd would be my stretch target.
The struggle now is not eating with my family. It is hard when the children eat between 4.30 and 5.00 as usually I am on my way home from work at this time so I enjoyed the weekends for proper family meals however it is hard to explain why I am eating different things, to explain to them that Mummy wants to loose weight - the last thing I would dream of doing is making them self conscious about their own appearances. I have tried: when I have soup for lunch so do they, they don't realise it comes from a different packet. When I have a pancake for breakfast I make them pancakes.
All I can do is stay focused and hope that this is the time that it works.
So, earlier this week I decided to take the plunge, be really firm with myself and start a new diet. A serious diet. One of meal replacements rather than me weighing and measuring and removing an element of choice. I can still choice amongst the meals packs that I have - various soups, bars and actual meals from pancakes to carbonara to spag bol. Most are reasonably tasty (with a little salt, pepper or similar seasoning) and portions are not bad either. I have avoided the shakes, I have a mild lactose intolerance and I decided not to risk it.
I have completed day 6 today and I am starting to feel better. My headache has gone, I am not struggling for energy and so far I have not been completely distracted by hunger. What I have not done is weighed myself. The weekly weigh in is a feature in my worst nightmare and I have decided to be kinder to myself and go on my clothes. I would like to drop at least 2 dresses. A 3rd would be my stretch target.
The struggle now is not eating with my family. It is hard when the children eat between 4.30 and 5.00 as usually I am on my way home from work at this time so I enjoyed the weekends for proper family meals however it is hard to explain why I am eating different things, to explain to them that Mummy wants to loose weight - the last thing I would dream of doing is making them self conscious about their own appearances. I have tried: when I have soup for lunch so do they, they don't realise it comes from a different packet. When I have a pancake for breakfast I make them pancakes.
All I can do is stay focused and hope that this is the time that it works.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Breakfast club
The starting of school is a massive thing for any child. I knew oldest would be exactly the same as any other child when it came to that first day.
We have worked hard to prepare him for the change, knowing that changes do unsettle him and that his behaviour declines because of it. The pre school were brilliant as the new class teacher visited and the children visited their new classroom and school. The school allowed him extra time and even a school meal so he could grasp the concept that a meal would be there for him without him needing to take a lunch box with him.
So, last Thursday Daddy took him to school - resplendent in his shiny new uniform and smart black shoes. He looked so much older than his 5 years which is scary as I know he is the oldest child in his class. He was amazing. He settled into his class with no fuss, no messy and he came home exhausted but full of everything he had done and looking forward to the next day.
Today was a completely different kettle of fish. Today was my turn. Which meant breakfast club. We don't have much choice about breakfast club as it means I can get to work on time (after taking smallest to pre school) so this morning we got ready and headed out of the door. He was already unsettled. He knows that the mornings I drop them off I do so early - they were both used to going to kids club at pre school. I explained that he was having breakfast at school but I don't think he was prepared for the fact that lots of other children use breakfast club and they were all bigger than him.
He was quiet when we went in. He met the support worker in charge and paid his money. He was impressed that the cereals and juice were all laid out - seeing it reassures him that he can have it. The crunch was when I tried to say goodbye and leave. Meltdown. Pure and simple panic at being left, in a different room, with different staff and children. The staff were brilliant, even his teacher came out of the classroom to support him but I had to leave him as he was screaming for me not to leave him and to be taken home and trying to escape out of the gate. My heart broke and I cried all the way to pre school. I dropped smallest off and when asked if I was all right I burst into tears again, I even cried all the way to work. I felt like the evilest of people for leaving him.
Later on in the morning I did call school and was reassured that he was ok, he had calmed down quickly and eaten a mountain of breakfast. He had a good day at school in the end. We talked this evening about how scary it was, how it wasn't as scary as he thought it was going to be and how he needs to go sometimes, but not all the time, and how sometimes his friends will be there as their parents also work and need to drop their children off early.
Tomorrow is the big test as I have to do it all over again.
No mascara for me.
We have worked hard to prepare him for the change, knowing that changes do unsettle him and that his behaviour declines because of it. The pre school were brilliant as the new class teacher visited and the children visited their new classroom and school. The school allowed him extra time and even a school meal so he could grasp the concept that a meal would be there for him without him needing to take a lunch box with him.
So, last Thursday Daddy took him to school - resplendent in his shiny new uniform and smart black shoes. He looked so much older than his 5 years which is scary as I know he is the oldest child in his class. He was amazing. He settled into his class with no fuss, no messy and he came home exhausted but full of everything he had done and looking forward to the next day.
Today was a completely different kettle of fish. Today was my turn. Which meant breakfast club. We don't have much choice about breakfast club as it means I can get to work on time (after taking smallest to pre school) so this morning we got ready and headed out of the door. He was already unsettled. He knows that the mornings I drop them off I do so early - they were both used to going to kids club at pre school. I explained that he was having breakfast at school but I don't think he was prepared for the fact that lots of other children use breakfast club and they were all bigger than him.
He was quiet when we went in. He met the support worker in charge and paid his money. He was impressed that the cereals and juice were all laid out - seeing it reassures him that he can have it. The crunch was when I tried to say goodbye and leave. Meltdown. Pure and simple panic at being left, in a different room, with different staff and children. The staff were brilliant, even his teacher came out of the classroom to support him but I had to leave him as he was screaming for me not to leave him and to be taken home and trying to escape out of the gate. My heart broke and I cried all the way to pre school. I dropped smallest off and when asked if I was all right I burst into tears again, I even cried all the way to work. I felt like the evilest of people for leaving him.
Later on in the morning I did call school and was reassured that he was ok, he had calmed down quickly and eaten a mountain of breakfast. He had a good day at school in the end. We talked this evening about how scary it was, how it wasn't as scary as he thought it was going to be and how he needs to go sometimes, but not all the time, and how sometimes his friends will be there as their parents also work and need to drop their children off early.
Tomorrow is the big test as I have to do it all over again.
No mascara for me.
Monday, September 1, 2014
7 + 5
Today is a special day for 2 reasons.
Today, 7 years ago, I married Andrew. We had our future ahead of us and we planned to enjoy it. On that day we were surrounded by family, and friends - all the people who were important to us at the time. Some of those people have changed - some have moved on, others have been added but many are still the same and for that I am grateful.
7 years doesn't feel like a long time. Sometimes if feels like a lifetime especailly when I remember some of the darker days of our journey to get to today.
Tonight I plan to have a nice dinner once the children are in bed (hopefully at Nanny's) and I want to get the photos out and remember the day that we shared and why we are still battling life hand in hand today and, with any luck, for another 7 years and all the 7s after that.
More importantly today is also our oldest's birthday. 5. He starts school in a few days time but he had a day over the weekend that was all about him and included a party with a bouncy castle and his family and friends. We didn't want his birthday to be the day that he wasn't with us - working meant that it wasn't possible thus we celebrated a couple of days early to make it as special as possible without over loading him by having more than 1 day of birthday-ness.
One of the nicest things at the party was seeing the children's foster carers again and hearing them exclaim as to how much the children have grown and devleoped. This is his second birthday with us and we are hoping that this, and then Christmas, will be the last stages before he can accept that he is really staying with us and that means forever.
Today, 7 years ago, I married Andrew. We had our future ahead of us and we planned to enjoy it. On that day we were surrounded by family, and friends - all the people who were important to us at the time. Some of those people have changed - some have moved on, others have been added but many are still the same and for that I am grateful.
7 years doesn't feel like a long time. Sometimes if feels like a lifetime especailly when I remember some of the darker days of our journey to get to today.
Tonight I plan to have a nice dinner once the children are in bed (hopefully at Nanny's) and I want to get the photos out and remember the day that we shared and why we are still battling life hand in hand today and, with any luck, for another 7 years and all the 7s after that.
More importantly today is also our oldest's birthday. 5. He starts school in a few days time but he had a day over the weekend that was all about him and included a party with a bouncy castle and his family and friends. We didn't want his birthday to be the day that he wasn't with us - working meant that it wasn't possible thus we celebrated a couple of days early to make it as special as possible without over loading him by having more than 1 day of birthday-ness.
One of the nicest things at the party was seeing the children's foster carers again and hearing them exclaim as to how much the children have grown and devleoped. This is his second birthday with us and we are hoping that this, and then Christmas, will be the last stages before he can accept that he is really staying with us and that means forever.
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