Day 3

Today was our third day in the preparation course and our assignment from last week was to take something that was important to us. I choose, as I expected to, my Mickey Mouse. Mickey is a stuffed toy that I have had since 1984 and the birth of my younger sister. He is a bit on the scabby side, he has seen a lot better days but he has been all over the world with me and I am very attached to him. It was really nice to listen to the stories of the items taken by other people, a charm bracelet where every charm meant something, photographs of family, of pets and other items of significance.

The next topic of the day was back to neglect and abuse and the effects it can have on children as well as ways in which we, as adoptive parents, can identify the impact it can have on behaviour. This consisted of watching a video in 3 parts - the birth mum, the child and the adoptive mum of the same situation and how the tiniest of little things can be massive to a child.

The most interesting part of the day, for me, was the visit from a mum who has recently adopted her soon and she spoke very honestly and openly about the process, about many of the little things she worried about and some of the things that she encountered on her journey. Her story was very positive and did a lot to displace some of the negativity that has surrounded us so far.

Our afternoon was taken up with more conversations with the adoptive mum and lots more questions for her plus some exercises and discussions regarding becoming part of a minority group when we adopt and some the things we might encounter. We were able to discuss some of the things people say when when they realise you are following the path to adoption. As a group we shared the frustration of people telling us how 'wonderufl' we were because we had chosen this path - at the moment I feel very selfish as we have chosen this route as the only way to have a family so it is not the 'wonderful thing' outsiders see it as. It also got me thinking how I would deal with being the 'adoptive parents' in social situations and what impact that might have on our child.

We ended the day without home work and I am looking forward to completing this course next week and moving onto the next stage of the path.