Going home

We have had a fabulous weekend, my Mum has been visiting and it was a surprise when the children got up on Saturday morning and she was there to greet them. We has decided, as the weather had been glorious, that we would go to the sea-side. Sadly, the weather did not remain glorious but it didn't spoil our fun.

We bought buckets and spades, we paddled in the sea, had a picnic and ate ice cream. And we ignored the weather and wore (well, bought and wore) jumpers over our sundresses. Oldest small even fell into the sea but luckily a towel and dry clothes sorted that one out. Once again when it was time to come home oldest small got upset as he wanted to stay but a train ride back to the car and he slept most of the way home.

Sunday dawned another over cast day but we carried on as planned - swimming and then Sleaford Carnival. Another fabulous day with balloons, bouncy castles, stickers and lots of laughing but it did end with 2 very tired smalls which made the last events of the day harder to cope with.

Mainly, Grandma going home. Oldest small really hates it when people leave. Hates it to a screaming, crying, miserable mess. We think that he fears that the person will not come back, that he will never see them again which is really sad and despite constant reassurance he still does it every time some one leaves. I am not sure how else to reassure him except to carry on - the repetition being the reassurance over time.

Sadly, the pattern is not just people leaving when they have visited us but also when we visit other places and I wonder if this is to do with him not returning to places that were important to him when he lived with his previous foster carers. We do know some places that he used to enjoying visiting and some will be options for visits in the future but we don't know them all and some we can't visit due to restraints such as geography.

Our plan is repetition again. Visit, come home and promise repeat visits which we have to follow up on. We have to. For no other reason than to settle his anxiety but also because we have a wonderful time.