Reflection

Yesterday was a crazy day.

And today has been even more so.

But I have had time to reflect and that is always a good thing. We knew that our application to adopt would go to court yesterday. We weren't to attend as that was the chance that their birth family had to contest plus social services have not approved a meeting between us and the children's birth mum despite her requesting one and us agreeing to it. It was torture waiting for our social worker to call but we were busy - more on that in a separate post. It was lunch time before the phone went and my heart almost stopped for a second.

It turns out that their birth mum didn't even turn up at court despite saying that she would even though she had decided not to contest the adoption. On one hand I am pleased as it makes things a lot simpler but on the other hand I wanted her to care. I wanted her to care enough to make the effort to fight for them even though it was a lot cause - why? Because it is what I would have done and because they are worth it.

My emotions were something else, it doesn't feel real that we no longer have to answer to social services and our lives will not included scheduled medicals and check ups above and beyond those of normal children. Our children also legally share our surname. We have to wait for the paperwork to change things like bank accounts and other official documents but it doesn't matter at the moment. We also no longer need permission to take the children places, we can get on with life and be a normal family. Almost.

We still have to be careful. Trips to their city of birth are still not a good idea and photos on Facebook are still not advisable, at least until they are unrecognisable.

But it doesn't matter. We are still happy. We have a family - each other as well as 2 amazing children whom we love more than anything and life is so much richer for having them as a part of it.

Today was one of my keeping in touch days at work so I have been out of the house and the children have had a rare 'Daddy day'. I do miss work but today has reminded me how much but also how much I miss seeing the children - it was too tempting to be texting my husband all day to find out whether all was well, what they were doing and if they were having a good day. Walking back in to their smiling faces reminded me again of why we have done what we have done and that it was all worth while.