References

As part of the process we were asked to provide contact details for people who would be prepared to stand as references for us. When we first thought about this we went though people we knew well, people we considered to be good friends and those we were close to as well as those who know us well and we thought would offer a balanced view of us.

In the end we choose 8 people (we needed a minimum of 5 and a maximum of 10) and duly returned that set of forms. It was hard to narrow down to these 8 and even harder when we knew that only 2 could be family members. We expected that these people would be contacted once our preperation course was complete and our application well underway.

We were wrong.

It took our local authority less than 3 weeks to write to 4 of these 8 and I was absolutly amazed. All shared with us very quickly the news that these letters had been recieved and of the 4 I was grateful that 3 also sent us a copy of the reference that had been written and submitted. To say I was touched by the things that had been written was a massive understatment. All 3 letters moved me to tears and I was astounded that the people nearest to us thought so highly of us and of our dreams of becoming parents.

I think the lesson that I have learnt from this part of the appliaction process is that the way people view you can never be presumed or anticipated. It can never be underestimated either. I am grateful to all my family and friends from those who recorded kind words in these letters, to those who offered to be referees who we haven't been able to include, to those who are just there and supportive. I just hope that I am able to be as good a friend to them as they have been to me whether that be now or in the future.